The 4 Relationships That Shape Your Life

Why many of us nurture 1 or 2, while unintentionally neglect the rest.

After nearly a decade of guiding retreats through Earth Tantra, I've noticed something surprising. Most people attend events or reach out to me because somewhere along the way they've lost a sense of relationship. Not just with themselves or with a partner, but because they are seeking to grow intimacy with life itself.

We often think of healing as something we do to ourselves, like reading another book, taking another course, learning another technique or searching for the next breakthrough. It's good to be a life long learner, yet when do we pause, integrate and fully apply the wisdom and knowledge learned before the next?

At Earth Tantra, everything I teach returns to 4 essential relationships. These are also the pillars in which Earth Tantra was birthed.

• Relationship with yourself.

• Relationship with nature.

• Relationship with others.

• Relationship with Spirit.

Most (neo) tantric circles focus on relationship with self and others. Some add on relationship with spirit, especially traditional based tantra. And Earth Tantra weaves in the 4th pillar of relationship with nature. When these relationships are nourished together, life begins to feel more connected, grounded, and alive. When one or more is neglected, we often feel the effects immediately, even if we can't name why.

Let's bring some content to each of these for an even better understanding.

1. Relationship with Yourself

This is where every journey begins. In Earth Tantra we have a saying "begin and end with self" in every energetic exchange. If you've attended an Earth Tantra in person event, you probably understand this in a very real way. How do you trust your body's widsom, if you are always living in the head? We apply the art of #stopconnectlistentrust for a foundational practice of truly listening within. This is often times paired with basic tantric breath/ root 2 heart breathing. Your relationship with yourself isn't by confidence alone. It's reflected in your ability to listen inward with honesty and compassion. Tantra teaches us to become present with our own experience before trying to change it.

Presence is often more transformative than self-improvement.

2. Your Relationship with Nature

Nature has always been my greatest teachers. Long before Earth Tantra, I spent years guiding in wilderness settings, backpacking alone, and eventually spending 21 days surviving in the wild on Naked and Afraid. Those experiences reminded me that nature isn't something we visit. It's something we belong to. Nature doesn't care how productive we are, how many books we've read, or how "evolved" we believe ourselves to be. Nature invites us back to our ancestrial and cyclical rhythms. Our natural "old" ways. Nature teaches us patience, adaptability, the power of the greater good and also just how small and how impactful we really are. When we become intimate with nature, we often rediscover parts of ourselves that a fast pace modern life has taught us to ignore.

3. Your Relationship with Others

This is often the relationship that is typically focused on in tantric circles - espcially neo-tantra. Yes, communication, trust, conflict, concent, friendship, family and romance is important. Yet, relation with others aren't perfect. They are grown with presence, repair, choosing one another again and again, honesty, curisoity and boundaries. With groundedness and #stopconnectlistentrust , we can connect with safety and authenticity meet. I personally learned tantra as an individual before seeking a tantric partner to practice for me that was the best route. Being able to fully meet myself, nature and spirit before even choosing to share tantra with a romantic partner, gave me the space to grow more as an individual.

4. Your Relationship with Spirit

For some, Spirit is God. For others is it source, mystery, extraterrestrial life or even something unknown on earth. There is no single way to experience Spirit. It is a very personal relationship. Unlike some tantric circles, Earth Tantra doesn't define spirit for you. That is for you to decide and weave in your essence. Also, know that we don't ask anyone to adopt a particular belief system. When we invite spirit into our practices, it's about cultivating deep reverence for the divinity. In what ever way that means to you, is the right way. There is always space for divinity in Earth Tantra. We believe there is no right or wrong to your belief system. All is welcome here, as we are here for the greater good of life-kind. Depending on the retreat or support, we invite spirit to be with us meditation and presence or to even honor in ritual or ceremony - like lighting a candle, etc.

When One Relationship Grows While Another Is Neglected

I've met people with a rich spiritual practice who struggle to listen to their own bodies. I've met outdoor enthusiasts who feel deeply connected to nature but find intimacy with others incredibly difficult. I've met couples devoted to one another who have quietly lost touch with themselves. And I've met people who invest years and years in personal growth while rarely stepping outside to experience the simple medicine of the natural world. None of these relationships exist without the other. When one becomes stronger, it often creates opportunities for the others to deepen as well. When one has been neglected for a long time, it can quietly affect every area of life.

Healing isn't about achieving perfect balance, it's about noticing where your attention is lacking nurture.

An Invitation

If you'd like to take a quiet moment to understand where one of these 4 pillars might be a bit neglected, journal or think about these questions.....

How is my relationship with myself?

How is my relationship with nature?

How is my relationship with the people I love?

How is my relationship with Spirit?

Which one feels most nourished?

Which one has been asking for my attention?

You don't need to transform all 4 pillars in a day. Perhaps this or next season, you might be ready to take an intentional step into time off-grid in nature. Or have an honest conversation with someone. OR grow your own care and compassion. OR ask for guidance of spirit. OR take multiple micro-moments to play with all four pillars.

And in my experience, when the 4 pillars of relationships begin to support one another, life doesn't simply become easier, it actually becomes more deeply and fully invested and lived. The gift of life is the richness in all, including the hard parts and blissful parts.

If something above connected to your heart space or curiosity, let's talk for free! I'd love to meet you and answer any questions. CLICK HERE FOR A 30 MIN FREE DISCOVERY SESSION.